Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. -Hebrews 10-35
I recently found this written on an index card. A friend had given it to me when I left LSU to go try and be a Pro Triathlete. That was 12 years ago, I just saw it again last week....Confidence is a funny thing. It's definitely on my mind right now, and it's relevant to both the last few races, and looking forward. Confidence before a race is obviously important, but most of us can conjure up enough good feelings to feel good going into an event. But when things don't go great (not terrible, just not what you expected), how do you keep your confidence? I think for me, I need to be honest with myself, and look objectively at where I am and how do I have my best race going forward.
Eagleman 70.3 is one of the premier races in the country, for both pro's and amateurs. It can (and usually is) a fast race, but because of the constant energy needed (no hills at all, so no breaks), when things aren't great, they can really just compound. And the run is one long out-and-back, so that can be great, but it can also kind of eat at you when you're struggling.
I had a GREAT swim for me. The times across the board were slow, but that's pretty irrelevant. I got out of the water with Victor Zymetzev(Russia), James Cunnama(South Africa) , Mark Bowstead (New Zealand) and Jordan Jones (USA)...These are big time athletes, and have all won big races. Legit pros. So needless to say, I was pretty pumped. I didn't do much different, but I found good feet, I really fought at the part where I usually get gapped, and I got in that pack. Quick transition too, so I was out on the bike in perfect position. This was actually a big step for me, and I'm really happy I was able to do it. It doesn't mean that it will be easy going forward, but I know what I need to do.
On the bike, I was in 3rd position, exactly where I wanted to be. We caught David Kahn, a very good athlete who was obviously having a bad day. Then at some point, Jordan Jones decided he'd had enough "sitting in", and took off like a rocket. It was a startlingly hard move, but everyone went. If the other guys would have let him go, so would I, but that was not their plan, so off we went. After a while I just couldn't hold it. My legs weren't great, but I had made the 1st 20-30 min, which is usually the tough part for me, but I still got dropped. And when you're going way too hard for too long, the fallout is usually pretty bad. I took in some calories and fluids, and just hoped someone fast would catch me, and we could go back in search of the leaders. That didn't happen. I can't keep hoping that someone will come along and tow me up to the group. I did what I needed to do to get with the main contenders, and I didn't close the deal. Just have to get better.
So my bike split was my worst of the season, but I was still off the bike in 7th or 8th. I could either try and run smart, or try and make something happen. Seeing the guys coming back at the turnaround, I thought there were one or two I could catch if I ran a solid (1:17-1:18) half marathon, but at the turnaround, I was shot. It became just survival out there for me. Really disappointing to run my slowest 1/2 in like 3 or 4 years. But I gutted it out. You can't be competitive when you run 8 min too slow. But a top 10 MPRO finish at a high points race was good for my Ranking (from #187 to #106). When you're feeling like that though, you don't think about finish times or placings, b/c then you'll just get down on yourself. You just try to keep your form decent, and keep 1 foot in front of the other.
It's always tough to write/say you didn't have a great race, when I know most people who read this feel like I was plenty fast enough, and most people would gladly take it. But I think it's best to take the times/splits/finish out of it and just look at it from a personal performance standard. We've all got our own goals and expectations, and we all want the best out of ourselves. It was my slowest race of the year, on a fast course, and my slowest splits on the swim, bike, and run (though the swim was probably my best, just a long/high current swim course). I haven't performed near as well in the last 2 races as the 1st two. Why?
That's where confidence comes in (see, this isn't just ranting, there's a point-maybe). Why haven't the last races been great? Do I all of a sudden suck? No. I went into Galveston on a huge, big training block, tapered, and raced great (minus the flat/penalty). I had two weeks of holdover fitness into New Orleans, and I broke 4 hours. The next two races were spread out so that we really couldn't do much serious training, mostly just stay moving between races. So I raced 4 Half-Ironmans in 2 months(9 weeks). And I couldn't really run any longer than those 13 miles, or do big hard rides and big hours. I was able to train swimming relatively strong though, which explains why I haven't struggled as much there. So I've lost fitness. I wasn't building fitness through racing, I was ready for the 1st 2 races. I know that I perform better with bigger training blocks, but I was excited to race. And I'm glad I did. But I also know how I can perform at my best, so I'll get back to the basics. Hard training, big miles, and hit that next race the way I prepare best.
Thanks for all the support from friends, family, sponsors, and supporters. And thanks for making it to the end of this blog. This was sort of the opposite of the last one, so thanks for taking the time to let me be honest. Hopefully it can help. I don't know what type of athlete any of you are, but just have the confidence to know what works best for you and prepare accordingly.
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